Poli.V

Social Commentary, Activism, Humanism

Toxic Masculinity March 16, 2013

Toxic Masculinity

A very good article written by JACLYN FRIEDMAN,  which points out that the current model for masculinity is just as toxic to men as it is to women, something I agree with wholeheartedly.

This a call to all the good guys, the aware guys out there to stand up and be strong and set good examples and role model themselves to the younger generation of guys and girls coming up. It’s so easy and understandable as a young person to follow along with what your peers are doing, girls do it too. Women and girls need to be educated as well to be aware of and not perpetuate the myth of male superiority and toxic masculinity, we are what we think. As a mother of a son and a daughter I can testify to unconsciously validating the male status quo. Women need help here too in the way we socialise and raise our sons and daughters.

It’s about time we began to have these kinds of discussions within the communities we live in and it’s very promising that right now in what we sometimes perceive to be this crazy stuffed up world, that we actually are beginning to have these dialogues (again?).

Women’s rights issues have ebbed and flowed through the centuries, just have a look at history. If you can sift through the patriarchal biased miasma that is, it’s out there you just have to look a little harder. They say the victors write history and it’s kind of true eh?

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4 Responses to “Toxic Masculinity”

  1. Skeggjold Says:

    Ohhh I wanna reply.. Just do not know if I can do it without writing a book.

  2. Skeggjold Says:

    Your post and your words. How you crafted your post I had no problem with. I agreed with what you said by the way you presented your post. As for Jaclyn Friedman I cannot say the same. First of all there are so many subjects here. Masculinity, femininity , misogynist, superiority, dominance, etc. all related but…

    To my point her words like “Remaking masculinity” or a “reinvented masculinity” makes me want to rake my finger nails down a chalk board. There is a schizophrenia about masculinity and what it is these days. Her article is that schizophrenia on display and in color. Masculinity does not need to be reinvented or remade. Masculinity and femininity need to established and endorsed. As a strength and confidence of character in our identity. There is a fear that if either is given credence it is a path to misogyny in this modern world. For all modern society’s gains we have thrown the baby out with the bath water. Respect, care, empathy are also words that are within masculinity that temper and govern the fires of masculinity. Emasculated physically or mentally is just about the same for self identity.

    In other words: What if misogynist trolling got you shunned by their friends and family? What if raping someone was actually likely to result in your expulsion from your team, and your conviction in court? If the rest of us shift our relationship to masculinity, ideas like “she was asking for it” or “don’t be a pussy” won’t make sense anymore, and the guys who try to cling to them will find themselves isolated, facing serious social and legal consequences.

    This is a paragraph above is in her article. I think it one misses the point entirely. First of by this time in life is too late to have society’s peer pressure mold one into good or bad behavior. Pedophiles to be an example of society’s wrath, bitterness revulsion for their existence having little affect to change their behavior. You said it a child needs role models both feminine and masculine and both strong and confident in who they are. I think that is key both remodels need to be confident in themselves. That confidence and strength radiates and inspires. The basic morality of right and wrong also needs to be established also at the young age. If the church or the faith is too misogynistic find another that is not. I like her choice of words “don’t be a pussy”, I would have said that to those two idiots if they had asked me before the rape. Pussy is another word for weak or coward. In my mind that is just what those two rapists are. Two emasculated boys having no idea how be a man.

    I have a daughter and my goal is for her to have strength and confidence in herself. The relationship I have that she sees is very ying and yang, I hope she can see balance and the unity there. That it is ying and yang and nothing without the other. I met someone the other day in yoga class. A woman who was super Yogi been doing it forever. This person radiated confidence, and liked who she was and where she was. This person was so strong in mind body and soul. It was not a mistake when I introduced my daughter to her. Who by the way is taking her yoga class now.

  3. Thank you for your in depth thoughts and post Skeggjold.

    If I could be granted one wish it would be for;

    A world where little children were thoughtfully brought into the world with great love and care and the great luxury of time to spend with them would lead to a far superior experience for all.

    A world where money was not the driving factor but love.


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